November 30, 2013   HOME

It gets harder and harder to come into your presence.  Pain?  So easy to be distracted by “life” issues – email, Facebook, cooking soup.

But You are there, You never leave or get distracted away from me.  It’s so easy to rest in knowing You are there.

The pain is awful in the morning.  Just getting started takes an act of my will.  Thank you that I have a the choice of beds and bedrooms.  Clearly time for a new mattress.  So many changes ahead for me,  but you are constant.  I am amazed at the “suddenness” of all of this.  I’ve always lived with pain but unless it was screaming, I was able to ignore it or get temporary relief.    Now my hip is always on fire.

Your timing is amazing, You waited until I could get the help I needed.  I am so grateful You sent me to Crabtree.  Such wonderful new friends and brethren of the Spirit.

You have shown Yourself so faithful; I trust you, I know You WILL do whatever is needful for Your plans and purposes.  I shall rest in that knowledge and praise You regardless.  I pray whomever You will provide.  You have promised, “This is not unto death.”  I remember that moment when You said that at the altar.  Then I thought it was a digestive problem.  I couldn’t eat anything.  I remember the tears and only wanting to go home – to You.  I remember repenting of that desire to die and determined to be and to do Your will.  Now I can eat and my diet hasn’t changed all that much.

Fruits and salads are still on the waiting list.  How I love Your vegetable soups…once again pumpkin…halvah…grapefruit.  So long unable to eat.  Jesus You are my bread of life.  You are my song to sing, salvation and deliverance.  All is in You.  YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE!

Redemption & Salvation


 Psalm 119:49-58

Remember the word to Your servant,upon which You have caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction,

For Your word has given me life.

Your word which has said, “This is NOT unto death.”  Your word which promises;

 Psalm 103 

Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

 I never thought I’d be praying for healing.  For all the years of colitis pain…the steroids which have eaten my spine…softened my teeth.  The sadness and pain which has been transferred to my body.  I was so blind, accepting.  And i do accept.  But now O Lord my God I must turn to You to help me

  • forgive
  • believe

The damage has been so great, I never knew.  I miss Mom so much now and grieve for the lost years.  How I suffered and fought.  They didn’t know.  I didn’t know.  They did the best they knew how.

But You have lifted the anger and resentment…I wear Dad’s love on a golden chain and Mom’s influence is all around:

The pain was so great, but You have lifted it upon Yourself.  You have forgiven all my iniquities and removed the sin nature.  You have redeemed my life from the destruction I was falling into…

What You have promised You will fulfill

(I am) confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

So much of this Psalm is Old Covenant.  The Psalmist had no confidence or assurance.  And yet he had faith.

You are my portion, O Lord;
I have said that I would keep Your words.

I entreated Your favor with my whole heart;

Be merciful to me according to Your word.

 You HAVE BEEN, ARE and ALWAYS WILL BE merciful to me according to Your word.  O the wonder of the New Covenant!

Entreat: to become weak, sick or ill.  The Psalmist was so distressed and determined to seek Your favor, unto weakness. O the joy of KNOWING!

Favor is the Hebrew word for face: פָּנִים

Merciful: חָנַן

 O God Jesus, how impossible it is to give you enough praise and thanks.  Continue to open to me the wonder of who you are and what You have done!


Unique relationship 17-18

The Nations 20-21

 ISAIAH 26:16ff

As a woman with child
Is in pain and cries out in her pangs,
When she draws near the time of her delivery,
So have we been in Your sight, O Lord.

We have been with child, we have been in pain;

We have, as it were, brought forth wind;
We have not accomplished any deliverance in the earth,
Nor have the inhabitants of the world fallen.

 Israel was chosen for a purpose, but we have not accomplished…We cannot deliver, but we should be pointing to the One who does!  Yet in your sovereignty we are still Your witnesses.

 Come, my people, enter your chambers,

And shut your doors behind you;

Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment,
Until the indignation is past.

For behold, the Lord comes out of His place

To punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity;
The earth will also disclose her blood,
And will no more cover her slain.

 A warning of Jacob’s trouble to come. Is this for the Jews or for the believer?  You are our chamber…a reference to Noah…we shut the door, but for Noah You shut the door.

Obviously Jesus will once again enter the earth…O the blood that will flow.  O God may I bring warning.


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