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I have been meaning to write to you for weeks now. I want to thank you for your ministry of the Orphan Structure for the first Women Who Care meeting at Crenshaw Christian Center. It marked and changed my life.
After you prayed with us to open all the doors and windows of our defenses, allowing the light of God, through the Holy Spirit, to come in and evict the strongholds of Satan, the voices, the tape playing repetitious, negative messages such as "You're unlovable", "Nobody loves you", etc. have stopped, silenced completely and forever. I noticed it immediately that evening, but the silence became more blessed and precious to me as the days and weeks passed.
Lifted from me were heaviness and depression, never to molest my thoughts and my life again. To God be the glory! Only He could heal that, and He did so through your ministry!
While in the world, I tried everything to sort out what I felt and thought was wrong with me: therapists, self-help books, astrology, women's groups, biofeedback, transcendental meditation, you name it. I searched but remained lost.
I finally quit paying the therapist when all I did was talk about the same problems endlessly. “When will I be fixed?” I used to wonder. I realized that man could not cure this.
Then I was born again in August '99. In my first Sunday church service, I received Jesus as Lord of my life and became a member of Crenshaw. When the invitation was given, I knew I needed salvation, even though I didn't know what I was signing up for. I was starving by the time I came into the House of Bread, and I'm still hungry, but not famished, and I am still learning and growing and allowing God to do His perfect work in me. It is a clean-up job that I continue to submit myself to.
It's uncomfortable at times, but much less so now. I'm still on a godly assignment to write my life story from birth to present. I'm currently in the year 1989 (I was born in 1953, so I've come a long way. I began to journal in 1985. It is difficult to read and reinterpret the scenes of my life from the standpoint of the Bible, but this is how God is healing me. I think I've cried myself out over these issues. So, I revisit them one more time. And if God chooses to use my life to heal and help other women like myself, I am His willing vessel.
I wasn't willing initially; as I didn't want to dig up so much dirty laundry, but in talking and sharing, I'm the one who continues to benefit. God uses me in a one-on-one basis by sending my way young women who need to know the Truth (I'm a professor of child development, so almost all my students are women). So I continue to minister in that field until the Lord directs my path to the next glory.
Resting in His peace and blessed quietness, Rebecca (Becky) M
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